My Boyfriend Wants Me to Get An Abortion. What Should I Do?

An unplanned pregnancy may shock you and your partner. If your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion, remember that you have options. Ultimately, you alone have the right to make the final decision about your pregnancy.

Take time to discuss things with your partner. Here are ten tips to get an honest conversation started.

1. Know that no one can force you to have an abortion.

Your boyfriend may want you to get an abortion, but the law prohibits anyone from forcing you to have one. You have the right to make a decision that’s best for your health and your future. As you discuss your options, learn how abortion affects mental health to decide what might be best for you.

If you feel that you are being pressured to have an abortion, call us today at 866-406-9327 for help and support.

2. Know how far along you are.

Before you and your partner make a decision, you should find out for certain if you are carrying a living pregnancy (or one destined to miscarry naturally) and find out how far along you are. The pregnancy’s gestational age determines which abortions are typically used. This will help you as you figure out next steps.

How far along you are in your pregnancy can be estimated based on the last menstrual period, but an ultrasound is a more reliable way to determine it. Call Pregnancy Decision Line for a free ultrasound today at 866-406-9327.

3. Talk about the abortion pill.

Partners may be unaware of what an abortion entails, so talk about it.

With the abortion pill, a woman intentionally takes medication to terminate her pregnancy. The process involves two medications. The first medication, mifepristone, blocks the progesterone receptors which interferes with growth, eventually causing the death of the embryo.¹ The second medication, misoprostol, causes the uterus to cramp and bleed which expels the pregnancy.

4. Talk about a surgical abortion.

The cervix is numbed and dilated open and a tube is placed inside the uterus to suction out the fetus, followed by a scraping instrument to remove remaining tissue and blood clots. In later pregnancies, forceps are used to remove fetal parts.² The type of procedure depends on the abortion provider’s preference, how far along a woman is in her pregnancy, and the state laws.

5. Talk about the risks of an abortion.

Even though the choice is yours, you and your partner should openly talk about the possible risks and side effects of abortion pill and how abortion affects mental health.

Expected side effects of the abortion pills include diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, headache, dizziness.³ While prolonged bleeding is common, complications can include heavy bleeding which may require a surgical procedure to stop the hemorrhage, life-threatening infection, and a failed or incomplete abortion, which could require further medical intervention.⁴

Immediate complications from a surgical abortion can include bleeding, infection, and damage to organs. In some cases surgical instruments puncture the uterus or surrounding organs which may require surgical repair.⁵ Multiple surgical scrapings could lead to scarring within the uterus which could cause infertility in the future.⁶

6. Talk about the cost of abortion.

Your boyfriend may want you to get an abortion, but does he know the cost? The abortion pill can cost between $500 to $950. Surgical abortions can cost between $500 to $1,150 in the first trimester and $570 to $2,300 in the second trimester.⁷ These costs often include fees for ultrasounds, blood tests, medications, and follow-up appointments.

Call us today at 866-406-9327 for a free ultrasound.

7. Know that abortion can affect relationships.

Abortion can affect relationships, especially when the couple disagrees about their decision. Often, men and women find it difficult to clearly communicate their feelings after an abortion and may put up emotional walls. If that occurs, communication often begins to break down and sometimes the relationship ends.

8. Know that abortion can affect men, too.

Even though women make the final decision, men often do not realize that an abortion can affect them emotionally. In a recent study, men reported depression, sadness, guilt, regret, anxiety, anger, thoughts of what could have been, emptiness, and substance abuse after experiencing abortion.⁸

9. Communicate clearly.

Ask your partner why he wants you to have an abortion. Sometimes partners have hesitations about a pregnancy because of financial or physical needs. At Pregnancy Decision Line, we offer pregnancy resources and referrals to help you make an informed and empowered decision!

Call us today at 866-406-9327 to learn more.

10. Set boundaries.

If your boyfriend wants you to get an abortion, but you don’t want to, then you need to set clear boundaries. Tell him what behaviors and level of communication you are comfortable with. Remember that no one cannot force you to make a decision that you’re uncomfortable with.

Abortion Information at Pregnancy Decision Line

Even if your partner does not offer you the support you want, know that you are not alone. At Pregnancy Decision Line we offer you the information you need in a compassionate space, so that you can make the best decision for you!

All of our services are 100% free and confidential. We exist to provide accurate medical information and support to women and men facing an unplanned pregnancy. Our pregnancy centers do not offer or refer for pregnancy terminations or birth control. Information is provided as an educational service and should not be relied on as a substitute for professional and/or medical advice.